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Being Included

My friend R is an inclusion ambassador at her place of work. The job has brought her close to the real stories of people who share something in common with her - a person of color, some form of minority in the technology business and so on. She spends quality time trying to reach out to these people hoping they will share their experiences of feeling excluded. R hopes to bring change from the top down, forcing people to confront their unconscious biases. She talks about how change is slow and difficult, it makes her frustrated but she continues to strive for the greater good of her co-workers. 

We were chatting about this recently and I told her what I thought as a minority myself - that her cause may be misguided. There are examples of folks who despite every disadvantage and obstacle have managed to work their way to the top. These people look much like those co-workers she is striving to have included and treated equitably. It would serve the cause much better to learn best practices from those who have thrived despite the odds, learned to navigate without calling attention to what holds them back. 

The many captains of the technology business are originally from India - many of them first generation immigrants. It is highly unlikely that they were spared the inequities and lack of inclusion that R is trying to solve for. All around us are examples of minorities at every level who manage to thrive despite the prevailing conditions that are hard to change. Maybe they can teach the rest of the population how they do it. 

When I was starting my life in this country, those were the voices I most wanted to hear from. One of them belonged to S. She managed a major technology transformation program at a large bank and was an older black woman. I met her while on a consulting gig where she was member of the client team. S had a certain regal quality about her. When she spoke, the noise in the room died down and people listened. Her words mattered and she chose them wisely and well. She was able to maintain this perfect balance between friendly and professional no matter the situation. 

The quality of her work was top-notch but she was almost invisible, never became the story despite having such a high visibility role. The board was keeping close tabs on the program given it's potential to transform the bank. S reminded me of the inner workings of a higher performance car. You realize that there is more going on inside that you can possibly comprehend, but as a driver or passenger you only enjoy the ride. That was S, she made very complex things work flawlessly and you almost missed the fact she was the orchestrator in chief. S was that good. For the year that I had the privilege of working alongside her, I grew a lot professionally and personally. To this day she is a role model for me. 

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