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Leaving Body

Beautiful essay about the body and being able to negotiate the world without the physical body seen. I can relate to this maybe because I am reclusive by nature - I love not having to worry about appearance all through the work day. My mind functions just the same whether I am dressed for a business meeting or in comfortable home clothes and no makeup. 

It has been a privilege to be able to work in this mode for a long time and that it become the only way since the beginning of the pandemic. This is hardly the best choice for a young person starting out their own lives - people J's age for instance. All the learning and growth that comes from spending time with others, working towards similar professional and personal goals would never come about. It would likely stunt a person's life and their worldview. The saddest lines in this essay were:

Why do bodies feel so embarrassing? When I first had sex, I remember thinking it was best if I could leave my body, instead of being in my body. One part of me was underneath a boy and another part was safe at the top of the room, hovering, free.

A lot of women at some point in their life experience the desire to turn invisible. Maybe for lack of love, feeling so vulnerable that they fear people see right through the insecurities or even from too much attention for being beautiful. When the body takes center stage and subsumes the person, a woman might crave leaving her body figuratively as the author of this essay describes. 

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