Being the bridge generation between my parents and J is complicated business. There is very little they have in common to hold a meaningful conversation. They default to acting like she was still in kindergarten - that is the last time they probably felt comfortable with her and could relate to her world. They started to see each other less over time, J lost the language skills she once had with them and her life changed in ways that is hard for them to fathom. These days I feel like I am translating between two foreign languages using the usable parts of my language that both sides can understand. Every attempt demonstrates my limited abilities. Neither side is much closer to comprehending the other.
Reading this story about India's first blockchain wedding was oddly comforting. I cannot imagine this couple has parents or grandparents who can understand what this is all about. As time goes by, the marriage will settle into a steady state and start resembling other marriages including those of the parents and grandparents - the twain will meet in the end. I hope the same is true for J and my parents. As time goes by, J starts to live an independent life, make decisions similar to others in her life stage - things might start to compute for my parents. Maybe they will see some of the struggles on their early life in her world, the trade-offs she makes will not seem that different from the ones they made at a conceptual level. The rest is noise and will fade away as familiarity emerges.
Comments