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Moving Forward

I want to read the book after reading this interview. What Cain says about moving on vs moving forward is true for anyone who has trouble getting over the guilt of feeling sad over things that took place way back in the past. The longer the sadness lasts after the event, the harder it becomes to justify specially if the reason for the sadness itself does not rise up to a level of significance at global scale. The person is likely to feel that they need to get over themselves, the feelings are unwarranted and that they are being ungrateful for the good they have in life. 

If such a person were to give themselves permission to live their lives integrating that sadness as a thing that needs to be borne for reasons they likely can't even fathom themselves, maybe better outcomes might result. It will a weight to carry, recall without guilt because all weight must be set aside sometimes to catch a breath. Repeating this process of heaving the weight and then putting it down for a bit might produce the much needed fatigue that ultimately results in resolution. The sadness was carried forward until it was no longer tenable to do so. That point the person will move on without it and it would be a natural and permanent transition. 

..you can move forward with your life and carry that loss with you. You can still feel sad sometimes while also integrating new experiences and having new joys. It all becomes part of you. So instead of saying, “Okay, I've got to get from sad back to happy as fast as I can,” you realize life is just a collection of experiences that shape you and you're carrying them all.

To help a young person understand this can save them many decades of misery.

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