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Groom Kidnapping

Watched Antardwand and it was a sad experience. Having spent a good part of my growing up years in what is now Jharkhand, the cast of characters felt realistic and that compounds the miserable after-taste from the movie. This is not meant to be entertainment and no one wins. The treatment and social status of women is a big part of the problem but the emasculation of sons by the patriarch is the other. They have no power to do what is right even when they are well-intentioned. The system is designed for submission to the will of the highest ranking male. Everyone's fate hinges on that man's ability to be human. In this movie we see two that simply cannot summon themselves and wreak havoc on the lives of many. 

They make bad decisions without remorse or consequence, willing do anything to prevail - have their word be the final one. Looking at this bizarre way of life now far removed from it in time and distance, I had to wonder if all this was not the result of cripplingly low esteem driving these men towards insanity, an expression of complete impotence at the physical and spiritual level. 

No man who has something worthwhile to offer to his family and the world, will resort to such level of brutishness and certainly not need to abuse every woman in his sphere of influence to feel he is in charge. Coming out of that world, it is hard for a woman to expect normalcy and fairness in how she is treated by a man, her expectations in marriage - she is primed for abuse and will often look for an abuser in intimate partnership because that is the only type of relationship she knows. Yet the "world" that is India is very far from homogenous. This story is one of the millions playing out everyday - movies have been made about those other stories as well, about men who go way above and beyond the call of duty to support the women in their lives.  

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