I was forced to live apart from J for over a year when she was a baby. That experience stands out in my life for how dark and depressing it was. To this day, I wish the clock would turn back and I would have those precious months I missed with her - this time in a way a mother in a normal family situation might have it, the way I imagined my early motherhood would be.
What I would give for memories of more touch from my baby who is now a grown woman living her own independent life. When I read this article I was not able to relate at all - it fades away in a flash, that time when you are your baby's center of the universe and their comfort object.
“The fact of the matter is that not many mothers are prepared for the developmental—both the physical and psychological—changes during the transition to motherhood. The touched body, the degree and frequency it is touched—how much and how often—is not even imagined as a potential stressor until it happens or reaches a crisis,”
Never thought about the touch of a baby in this way. There is something warm and healing about the touch of a child - your own or another's. I never got enough of it but I can imagine it is possible for a woman with multiple young child vying for her attention non-stop can feel exhausted from doling out bits of her self all day long.
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