This past Thanksgiving, I reached out to everyone I could think of that had a role in my life that I should be thankful for. As I sent these text messages out, could not help thinking how little I have invested in these people over the years. Not for lack of care or concern but not being able to make the time to keep those relationships warm. There was always something that was higher priority.
The few where I have done well, it was on account of me reaching out to these folks every so often and setting aside some time to catch up even if only by a phone call. In my younger years, I used to resent that it always needs to be me initiating contact and somehow that meant it was not worth for the other side to make the effort.
Over time I have come to realize, the "other side" I speak of have a dense social network of which I am a very small part. They are the kind of people who have the energy, interest and inclination to carve out precious time from their lives to bring their friends and family together. It gets harder for them to keep up with someone like me who shows up very occasionally. I am not part of their natural social rhythm. So I want to be seen and counted, I need to make the effort. Such clarity likely comes to people at different points in their lives - I wish it had come sooner to me.
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