Getting Dinner

I had met C at work a few months ago and went to dinner with her recently when we were traveling to the same place. We chatted for hours until the restaurant owner was ready to close. We were women in approximately the same life stage - grown kids, living their independent lives and us not sure what we were doing other than being driven by inertia of motion. Too much time had gone by living life a certain way, routines had been set that kept us sane through professional and personal turmoil. C and I both admire the gusty women who go off the beaten track, dare to live their dreams as crazy and risky as that undertaking may be. We cheer and clap for them, root for their greater success knowing full well we will never be able to step in those shoes. Our lives are far more mundane and no grand missions will be fulfilled.

We will move the cause of our kids and other loved ones a bit further, be there to support them, be their sounding board and so on. That is what the next phase is about. As C says - the job of parenting is not done. It used to be that they were upset for not making the softball team or not being invited to a party now the reasons are bigger and more complex. We helped them work through disappointment then and we do so now as well. In degrees they separate and establish their lives and a new eco-system supports and sustains it. We recede back but hopefully still always count - maybe not the first call but second in the highs and lows of their lives. Dinner with C was most timely - her kids are all older than J and she has been through my phase three times. It was very useful to learn from her experience and see how the world looks for the parent a decade down the road from where I am today.