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Different Paths

Watched Run a few days before Mother's Day and it gave much food for thought. There is an universal presumption and expectation of a perfect love flowing from mother child. It is expected to be the natural order of things so any reports of deviation are viewed with great skepticism. The messenger is often killed and the message must wait another day to be heard if ever. Diane in the movie is a horror-inspiring mother - that is the point of the story and she delivers a powerful performance. 

But there are micro-aggressions leading to micro-traumas far more pedestrian mothers are responsible for. In my own extended family are a couple of mothers that clung to at least one of their children as a long-term security solution. These mothers created circumstances in which the kids remained emotionally stunted, unable to get into a relationship or marriage - embark on their own life journeys. The  mother has built a co-dependent relationship with this middle-aged person who has no life of their own and only knows how to be a child to their mother. 

These folks lead apparently normal lives, having completed their education and entered the workforce. They are free to come and go as they please but they just don't. Its as it they have an invisible fence around their lives that the mothers set up early and the rest happened quite effortlessly. It is not even clear if these mothers actually wanted to accomplish the outcomes they have with their children. The children in question are of my generation - we were once a boisterous set of kids running around causing trouble anytime the family got together. They were no different from the rest of us. 

We started to diverge little by little by our teens and beyond that we were too far apart. I count myself among the fortunate ordinary in this group - that has done mostly mundane things that people do in different phases of their lives - nothing remarkable one way or the other. To even achieve that status, it takes a mother not to abuse her incredible position of power in irreversible ways. 

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