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Feeling Chai

I had pause between calls a few days ago during work and savored the luxury of making myself some chai with fresh ginger, fennel and cardamon. Stepping out to have my tea, decided I should text J to see if she had time for a quick call. We generally communicate by text most days - the calls are less frequent. 

So anytime I do ask her to call I make sure to qualify by "no crisis just want to chat if you are around". That afternoon she was around and we talked for a bit and I finished my chai. We each returned to work. The fact that I could carve such a half-hour out on a work day to connect with what comforts me - the voice of my child and the taste of freshly made chai, is a luxury. 

There was a time when I was driving from almost an hour away every evening hoping I would not be the last one at the daycare center, not have to see J sitting forlorn with all her friends already gone for the day. Some evenings, I could not beat the traffic and dashed in just as they were turning the lights off. I remember feeling all the effort to earn a living was so futile - I disappointed the little person I did all this for, every single day. Maybe without those years of strife, I would not have earned my peaceful chai-time in the middle of the workday while I caught up with J.

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