This past Puja season, connecting with Bengali friends triggered a lot of musical nostalgia. This is the time of year for me to soak up the music I grew up with and have lost touch with over the years. My father was always singing something - his way of expressing this mood and mental state perhaps. My mother hummed tunes but was not much of a singer. For reasons I don't understand, I did not inherit the humming or singing traits from my parents - and in that sense, I must also lack the ability to vocalize my state of mind. If humans are meant to have vocal or physically demonstrative form of expression like dance, then it can be viewed as a handicap to lack both.
My Bengali friends can all hold a tune, some with more dexterity that others. We all have a few Tagore songs that are particularly special or meaningful to us. It is interesting when the same song is The One for a few of us and yet the reasons are quite different. This song has evolved in how it makes me feel over the years. When I came of age, the lyrics spoke to unreciprocated infatuation - something I was familiar with given how afraid I was to show vulnerability. In later years it became about that moment when I hesitated to make a commitment to a relationship.
For my friend S this was the song that reminded her of deceased father, the way he turned back one last time to wave goodbye before leaving her home. She is an accomplished singer and recorded the song in her home studio this year as a tribute to him, the last wave of goodbye is now only a memory that she can bring alive with her voice. Speaking of Bengali girls who can hold a tune, brought to mind this very special one that I can listen to all day.
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