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Parented Out

At the going rate, it won't be long before the idea of having a child will become one only the wealthy can entertain. The numbers are eye-watering. Back in the day when I had to pay for child-care as a single-mother on a modest income, it was a fifth of this and even that felt like a lot. There were parents even back then who had it much harder than I did - they were truly stretched thin. These numbers do not make sense. People on average have not seen their incomes rise four or five times in the twenty years, not even close. 

The desire for parenthood is already a hard one to fulfill, even without the financial complications. It used to be that people could count it as a natural life stage thing. Not anymore. I have had women in their early 20s tell me that they are considering freezing their eggs. Why postpone what must be done any way. One of my good friends finding herself single in her late thirties was getting nightmares of her eggs shriveling inside, followed by her womb and the rest of her. She would wake up expecting to find a pile of dust where she had been sleeping. The right partner simply did not come about for her though financially she could have afforded a child very comfortably. H did not have it her to travel the distance alone. 

Men may experience less stress because the clock does not run out on them as fast. In theory all parts of the puzzle may come together later in life and there maybe a willing younger woman who can make the dream of fatherhood come true. But the financial stress of raising kids is something men talk about too - the career and life choices they can and cannot make are driven by that. 

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