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Searching Tart

Searching for the word Canterbury in my emails for a tart recipe and stumbled upon an exchange with C from over ten years ago. At the time of writing, I had once met her once and we had hit it off. She was married twenty five years at the time to a guy she had met a church. He came highly recommended by common friends so C said "Yes" when he proposed. They looked very comfortable together - I recognized the warm, peaceful feeling between them that could be relaxing to an outsider. I was going through what appeared to be unsurmountable challenges in my personal life at the time, trapped in a miserable, no-win situation. I felt safe to unburden to C and she promised to pray for me. I have no doubt that she did but sometimes good wishes and prayers are simply not enough, It is like having a well-meaning neighbor lend you a broom when your car is buried in snow. Reading through that exchange with C brought back memories I would rather forget. 

We are no longer in touch and not for any particular reason. I wonder now if I had overshared and burdened her in some way. Maybe she wanted my troubles to be over before reaching out again. And they were in due course but I had never told her anything about it. Now, I am not sure where to begin - the context of my connection with C no longer exists. It will be like two relative strangers having lost that tenuous tie that brought them together, seeking something else to anchor on. I am not sure there is any such thing between us. I remember C's forest green Mulberry purse, worn ever so casually. I did not know of the brand but the that purse made me curious and I looked it up. Everything about C was upscale but in a quiet, understated way - just like her marriage was on the scale of compatibility. That purse so became her and not because it was expensive. 

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