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Friend Family

It is great to see India is evolving out of the obsessive-compulsive need to be married and achieve social standing. The fact that people who are single by choice or ended up that way after a failed attempt at marriage have a choice to remain that way is huge progress from my times which sounds pre-historic by now. 

Some research has shown that the happiest segment of the population is women who are never married, and without children. Housework and taking care of children is largely done by women, which benefits men. If they are financially independent, women stand to gain more from being unmarried, which allows them to have greater autonomy

I know a few women who would belong in the happiest segment according to the said research. Reality is a bit nuanced - it is not happiness without some penalties. These women are expected to provide material and other support to the rest of the extended family. Being single is construed as unlimited time and resources to help anyone and everyone who is in need of it. 

My friend L has been enlisted repeatedly to be the guardian of a second cousin with severe mental health issues. No one else in the family feels like this is part of their collective responsibility specially that a single woman with no kids is bouncing around with no purpose to fulfill in her life - they are graciously giving her one. The other ladies I know in this segment have their own set of unique troubles. But I would agree that in balance they are happier than their peers who are married to meet their social obligations our out of filial duty. 

I would love to see this style of cohabitation become an option for elderly couples and specially those who lose their spouse - it sounds way better than being consigned to an old-age home or left to fend for themselves with kids living far away and unable to provide the level of care they need.

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