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Small Wins

I started to volunteer at my local kindergarten recently. The idea has been on my mind for a few years but it took a friend to learn about my goal and hold me accountable - she made sure I signed up for real and just did not waste time "thinking about it". It's early days yet but I already look forward to the mornings I go to the school. The kids recognize me now and beam when I walk in the door of their classroom. We do mundane things together like learning to spell three letter words but it's a great way to learn the distinct personalities of the kids. 

Even if  I forgot a name, I would remember how each child was unique. I go through the same exercise with the group of kids but they all behave differently. As they grow familiar with me, they want to spend as much time being silly and playing. These kids were identified as needing extra help but in reality none of them do. They are just bored and don't want to follow instructions. But none of them are acting out or being defiant - they just don't want to do anything right because its too easy and dull, making mistakes get them time and attention so they love doing things wrong over and over. Once I stop paying attention to their clearly deliberate mistakes, they do things right almost at once.

I am being mindful of etiquette and the fact that I am there very sporadically - the teachers are there every day and it is their job. Its too easy for even a well-intentioned outsider to find fault with how things are run in the classroom. I cringe a lot every time I am there, find myself unable to agree with just about anything that is happening in the name of teaching. When I get back home, I find myself recalibrating that reaction and thinking of ways I could make my short interactions with a few kids count - if there was a way to make a difference. That is not a small challenge and it seems the right place for me to focus. My volunteer engagement at the school has helped me see other challenges in my life in the same way - focus on the small things I can impact instead of being frustrated with bigger things that I will tire of trying to change.

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