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Different Truths

 Watched this beautiful short film about a day in the life of a patient and care-giver. The old man played perfectly by Naseeruddin Shah has Alzheimer's  and the young woman is a rookie psychologist who is looking after him while the family is out for the day attending a wedding. Shah relives the days of his life that are long past as if they were his present reality and cannot recognize his grandson but his love for his wife is undiminished and every detail about her memorable. 

The story of the broken table is what the old man is able to give the young care-giver. He feels alive and is in touch with his humanity more than "normal" people might be. The young woman has a "flaw" of her own that she wants to deny and hide from her husband because she does not know that she has other choices. Losing one's mind is incredibly scary if the person has lucid moments when they realize that their grasp on reality is slipping away. 

Once that stops and the person settles into some kind of reality that is stable but incomprehensible to others, things seem better for a while. Then of course the irreversible decline happens to those who live long enough - that is terrific suffering for loved ones to witness and endure. When my maternal grandmother finally passed, the family was greatly relieved. I know I was able to escape back to the times when she was a force of nature, unafraid to speak her mind and make controversial decisions. 

I decided to delete all memories of her that were unpleasant or painful to remember. By reliving only the good and happy times with her, its as if my grandmother never suffered at all. Who is to say the way I processed out memories is "normal" - yet people have to find their own ways to cope. The only time her illness come to mind when I at doctor's office and being asked about my family's medical history. I blot it out immediately after that. 

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