M was a design consultant at the company where I worked a few years ago. He did a good job, got along with everyone and was well-liked. He had three kids all under 6 years old and they way he described the life he and his wife led, it seemed as if they worked as hard as they could to earn enough for child care of their three kids. The numbers were staggering even back then. They always wanted a second kid and ended up having twins and that had life altering consequences for M and his wife. Her job required her to travel for multiple weeks at a time but the pay was too good to pass up but not enough for M to stay at home. He picked contract work to have flexibility (and better money) but it came with a huge dose of uncertainty as well.
The family was together some weekends and they made the most of it. M used to joke the unit of measure was 7 days for him as the days were a daze. He really got to spend some good quality time with his kids once a week. A lot could have changed from one Sunday to the next for each of them so it could be dizzying to keep up.
He talked about the backlog of missed things, including conversations that were not had on time or until after the moment had passed. I met his wife once - a nice, somewhat frazzled woman, who can blame her. I remember thinking how strong a foundation it must take to keep this whole thing in balance. M and his wife had met in art school and spent a decade together before marriage. They both wanted to be in a stable and secure place before starting family - they were living some version of it, waiting for the tide to turn.
While experts often consider housing as a family’s single largest expense, EPI found New Mexico’s annual infant care costs outpace rent by over 10%. Child care is out of reach for about 90% of New Mexico residents, according to the federal government’s definition of affordability, which is no more than 7% of a family’s income.
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