Beautiful essay about the inner world of a writer mom.
I don’t want to tell my son this is how I spend my time. I can’t tell him Mommy is racked with crippling self-doubt and a persistent fear that her work will never be published. At least not until he’s in third grade.
So, for now, I hide my truth. My son thinks Mommy is writing a book. He thinks Mommy is fixing the magazines. He thinks Mommy is, and I quote, “The best storyteller in the world.”
Why ruin that narrative? I’ll go on playing the role of full-time writer extraordinaire. I’ll continue imbuing his made-up characters with life and craft bedtime stories full of tension, rich descriptions, and as much of a narrative arc as I can muster, given the limitations of a fish-wielding superhero.
I was never quite J's super-hero but she has always been proud of me in her own quiet, undramatic way. That faith in my "abilities" served as my reserve to keep going on the hardest day. I wanted to be worthy of her pride and strove to accomplish goals that may have otherwise fallen to the way side. The author of this essay will likely fulfill her potential because of her son's unshakable faith in her abilities. She is a very lucky mother.
I don’t want to tell my son this is how I spend my time. I can’t tell him Mommy is racked with crippling self-doubt and a persistent fear that her work will never be published. At least not until he’s in third grade.
So, for now, I hide my truth. My son thinks Mommy is writing a book. He thinks Mommy is fixing the magazines. He thinks Mommy is, and I quote, “The best storyteller in the world.”
Why ruin that narrative? I’ll go on playing the role of full-time writer extraordinaire. I’ll continue imbuing his made-up characters with life and craft bedtime stories full of tension, rich descriptions, and as much of a narrative arc as I can muster, given the limitations of a fish-wielding superhero.
I was never quite J's super-hero but she has always been proud of me in her own quiet, undramatic way. That faith in my "abilities" served as my reserve to keep going on the hardest day. I wanted to be worthy of her pride and strove to accomplish goals that may have otherwise fallen to the way side. The author of this essay will likely fulfill her potential because of her son's unshakable faith in her abilities. She is a very lucky mother.
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