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Being Mother

Compared to much worse mothers than her, I am not entirely sure where mine would fall on the abusive spectrum. To this day, I don't know what part of her behavior was beyond her control and what was of her own volition. She did as much as good for me as she failed and hurt me. I owe a lot of what is good in my life to her and much of what I have struggled and failed to resolve over the years. 

Reading this list made me think of the intergenerational nature of abuse. My mother and I share many of the characteristics listed here. I would say J has some of them too. We are all failed mothers in that sense for at least three generations. Each time, we fix some of what we found broken with ours and create new fractures of our own.

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