My friend T has three kids ranging from three to seventeen years old. We met after a while recently and conversation turned to our kids. She told me how they balance parenting responsibilities as a couple. T has taken on the mantle of responsibility for the kids - she is the one who holds them accountable for their responsibilities at school and home. But she also provides them a judgement free zone. No matter what they do, she will not judge - that is a guarantee and she has demonstrated this time and again. Her husband is the fun parent but he can and will be judgmental. The kids have a balance between the parents and also with each parent.
I was talking recently to a young woman who is thinking about having her first child. Her pet peeve is that men often get to be the fun dad while mom gets to do the hard work and keep the kids in line. She thinks it as unfair to women and that both parents deserve to have a fun component to their job. T's formula seems to achieve that goal quite effortlessly. The kids are sharing secrets and gossip with her without reservation because she accepts them without question - that is the fun part of her job even if can be commingled with stress at times. She is the one in the know of things - her source of closeness. T is a remarkably calm and poised woman balancing a difficult job and a busy family without missing a beat. Maybe that is the secret to her success - knowing how to be good and fun mother at once.
Comments