Heartcrossings

 I worked with F for about a year and she was an interesting person. We did not have a lot in common but I liked the she did not hesitate to ask hard questions, challenge what did not make sense or push back on process that did not add value. She had some fans but the consensus opinion was she would not last too long - and she did not.  Our mutual co-worker and her long-time friend T told me recently that F had unexpectedly become a widow. Her husband had died under tragic circumstances and he was not yet forty. I knew F but wasn't sure if I knew her well enough to send her a note. After some hesitation I checked in with T who assured me that F would be very glad to hear from me. So I summoned up and wrote her what I genuinely felt but there is almost no way to strike the right note under the circumstances. I knew nothing about the deceased or what F's relationship with him had been like.  I also could not tell how F might be processing her grief and loss as people are di...

I am one of those who do not provide any personal details in my OOO message. I am out between these dates and these people will cover for me during that time. I have been receipt of messages ranging from second honeymoon at Tahiti, 15 year old dog's emergency arthritis surgery, vacationing in Mallorca and Ibiza with family and multiple doctors' appointments through the day.  Not sure any of these message were particularly useful or actionable for me. The last one got me quite concerned because the person sending it was in his early 30s. It it not culturally acceptable to ask if all is well unless they offer to share - which in this instance they did not. Everything appeared normal before and after that day. The person who took off to Tahiti (more power to her and her marriage), was not performing at her job for a long time while managing up and around brilliantly. No one was delighted that now she would be gone for a couple of weeks without any coverage plan. I am not sure if a...

Read this article about NaNoWriMo's position on the use of AI by aspiring writers and was quite baffled. I was not able to find the original source where the organization officially put out the statement but many have picked up on it.  So assuming the attribution of this bizarre line of reasoning by NaNoWriMo is factual, it is not unlike me saying that I may not have the physical talent and ability of an Olympic swimmer but I still put forth some effort and learned to swim pretty late in life. Now, those minor deficiencies should not stand in the way of my dream of finishing ahead of Katie Ladeky. For powers that be, to deny me the right to fulfill my dream is them being classist and ableist.  Let's say, my position is that notwithstanding the lack of aforementioned natural gifts, if I had been afforded the opportunity to swim and train from an early age, who knows what I might have been. As such, I need to have a chance and its only fair that I be allowed to outfit myself wit...

 Nice way to test-drive a common retirement dream - own and indie bookshop . Is it all that one imagines it would be or is reality too far away from the romance of the idea. Best way to find out is to try it for a few days. I can see this being possible for any kind of dream that a person wants to live once they retire. A good friend of mine spent decades planning her ideal retirement - being a park-ranger at Denali National Park. She ended up being a volunteer for a summer at another national park. It was not quite Denali and she was not a park-ranger. A number of things did not work out quite as planned, so she got to live a distant shadow of her long-cherished dream. And that was not even the worst of it.  That summer experience as watered-down as it was compared to her aspirations, turned out to be not really what she imagined - she did not see herself doing it for much longer any other place or time. A is now a volunteer helping migrant children who are stuck in never-end...

Loved reading this ode to MTR - I have been to the Lalbagh establishment a few times (and that was hardly enough) but not in a very long time. The story took me back in time to when I was there and enjoyed the food and ambience.  The Maiya siblings have not only managed to expand the family legacy but have also retained a loyal customer base, which won’t allow them to change a thing— from the red chairs to the ceramic plates. In Bengaluru, a city celebrated for its microbreweries, speakeasies, and pubs, MTR reigns supreme. It finds itself on bucket lists, must-eats, and essays on why it’s the hippest restaurant in the city. It’s as much a part of the city as other beloved gems like Koshy’s, established in 1940 in Ashok Nagar; Indian Coffee House, a Church Street fixture since 1958 with its signature chicory-free filter coffee; and the 1980s ice-cream chain Corner House. “MTR isn’t just a restaurant; it’s history wrapped in a building. From Independence to World War II and the Emer...

Watched Firefly Lane recently and wondered why so many viewers (myself included) enjoyed it. It has many flaws and is ridden with cliche and predictability. These are the kinds of defects that sink a show but somehow this got watched plenty. A no-limits friendship is likely every person's dream though very few find it in their lifetimes. A friendship that begins in childhood and lasts for life is also highly desired but not always possible. These things come to pass for Kate and Tully in the show and the viewers live their own friendship utopia watching them. In real-life for the average person (like myself), a spouse enters the scene and what used to be a great friendship transforms into a frosty acquaintance at best. They keep you in their thoughts and prayers but are no longer able to be in your life because it disturbs the equilibrium of their marriage. You drift and drift until decades pass since your last conversation. You decide after much hesitation to call this person to ...

 Nice essay on the point of diminishing or even negative return from the use of AI . In the workplace, it maybe to everyone's collective advantage if the use and adoption of AI by employees varies a great deal. We can have some over-rotate and use it for everything - early adopter, paving the way for others. On the far end of the spectrum there needs to a strong set of luddites who refuse to touch it at all. The rest can be skewed to various degrees towards the different ends. Then we might hope for some sort of steady state for the eco-system where AI is used just enough by the population overall. Pushing for 100% adoption might be the beginning of the end and should not be viewed as a goal to aspire for.  Imagine a medical-advice chatbot that lists fewer diseases that match your symptoms, because it was trained on a narrower spectrum of medical knowledge generated by previous chatbots. Or an A.I. history tutor that ingests A.I.-generated propaganda and can no longer separate...

 As I read this story about health issues caused by bitcoin mines , my thoughts turned to my late grandfather who died in the early 90s. He was a very well-read man with varied interests. It occurred to me that this story would be particularly hard  (if not impossible) for him to follow. The first stumble would come from making sense of bitcoin and everything goes downhill from there Dr. Bhaloo, the ENT doctor in Granbury, says he’s seen an uptick since the new year in patients whose ailments—including ringing in their ears, vertigo, and headaches—could be related to the mine. “These people here, they’re good country folks, and Bitcoin, to them, is almost a foreign alien thing,” he says. “They don’t understand it. And [the noise] is detrimental to their health and anxiety.” Dr. Stephen Krzeminski, another Granbury ENT, agrees. “Sonic damage is real, there’s no disputing that,” he says. Krzeminski says he believes the mine is causing “mental and physical” health issues. “Imagin...

 Read this poem about spider webs and the concept of home the day I was clearing cobwebs that festoon my front door. Earlier while at the gym the same day I was reading Tagore's Glimpses of Bengal where he says this of nature and man: Where Nature is ever hidden, and cowers under mist and cloud, snow and darkness, there man feels himself master; he regards his desires, his works, as permanent; he wants to perpetuate them, he looks towards posterity, he raises monuments, he writes biographies; he even goes the length of erecting tombstones over the dead. So busy is he that he has not time to consider how many monuments crumble, how often names are forgotten! A home is not a monument for posterity. It is ephemeral as the spider-web just a little different time-scale. My grand-aunt used to live in a beautiful home as part of a joint family. Her husband and his three brothers had contributed to building it. A widowed sister had arrived at some point and found shelter for herself and h...

 My gardening skills are very elementary and I lack the patience to improve. That does not prevent me from having aspirations though. I can easily imagine myself harvesting herbs and vegetables - something I have actual experience with. My father cultivated a decent vegetable garden all his life though now he is limited to what he can plant in the balcony of his flat in Kolkata. Through the planting season he would try to enlist my help with preparing the soil, planting seeds, pulling the weeds and watering the plants. I did some of everything but without a great deal of enthusiasm and sought every excuse to avoid the "hard" garden work. But when it came time to harvest the fruit of his labor I could not be more eager to do work. Those habits might have been imprinted in me. While I am very familiar with the steps to getting to the happy harvest stage, in my mind all the steps leading to it have been compressed to a small slice of time. One minute there are seeds an untilled ...

 We have a very beautiful park in my town featuring a couple of lakes, many acres of greenery and some gardens. It is not uncommon to see wedding parties in the summer months take advantage of the location. It is also my favorite place for a picnic - conceptually. The reality of the summer months include bugs of different sorts, flies and mosquitoes. I happen to draw them to myself almost exclusively no matter who else is with me. The only person I know that these creatures favor over me is J. So when she was still home, we talked about picnic in the park in idea terms knowing full well we were unlikely to actually implement it. We hung out a coffee shops and in the museum if we both had something to do but wanted a change of scenery away from home.  A couple of week ago, I finally realized my idea of having a picnic in the park. Something any number of other people have done innumerable times in their lives. For me it was a novel experience entirely to lay on the grass beneat...

 Interesting article about differences in attitude towards employment between Gen Z men and women . This may be beyond a generational thing though. I have known men of my generation waiting it out for couple of years for the right job - which means the right combination of prestige and pay. H for example refused to engage in any discussion if the pay was not higher than the job that he was let go from. The fact that he failed to perform at his prior role mattered nothing to him because he refused to recognize that as a concept.  It had not worked out between him and his managers so he got on a performance plan and got out with some severance. As far as H was concerned they were idiots and he had gamed the system and no one could possibly perform in the conditions he had to. When I heard H describe the situation almost a year into being unemployed, I could not believe the attitude and then it started to make sense. He had to truly, deeply believe every word he said. If that wer...

Recently I referred a friend to a job where I was well-acquainted with the hiring manager. It started strong with good feelings all around.  T reported good interviews - the people he met with are all my former colleagues so I was not surprised they were enthusiastic about him. Then a few weeks into the process, T asked to meet for coffee.  He had some concerns about the team based on the cues that he had picked up along the way - can he perform, will leadership help with removing roadblocks along the way, were there clear performance metrics for this role. Most importantly, he wanted advice on how best to diligence what he was stepping into. I shared my experience with such things - in the interview stage, he will more likely than not get the answers he wants to hear. In some instances, the hiring manager will say the team is not as well-established as they would like but he is brining in people who can help improve things. Either way you don't have any actionable data or ins...

 I am very much not a fan of modern interpretations of traditional dishes. When the victim is an Indian dish I know and love, the disappointment is much deeper. In my last trip to India, I truly struggled to find standard issue idli, vada and sambar at the airports. There was every kind of variant on the theme of this classic breakfast dish but not the basic stuff that I had hoped for as soon as I landed in India.  Reading about this outrageous dish that bears dosa in its name had me quite horrified. I watched a video that showed how this abomination is made and was at a loss for words. Things like this make me feel like I simply don't get India anymore. How does something like this come to exist and what are the reasons for it to be popular? What was so bad and wrong about the dosa that required such makeover? I will never know ofcourse and have to deal with that feeling of bamboozlement I have come to expect upon arrival in the motherland.  There used to be a thela-wal...

 I learned recently that a former co-worker is now a bee-keeper and does some tech stuff on the side. F was always an interesting woman but this is quite a detour even for her. She must have learnt the bee-keeping trade well-enough in the last few years to make it her primary source of income. I can't imagine that is easy but definitely the kind of challenge F would take on. Reading this sheep-for-solar story brought F to mind. Maybe a career pivot for those who want to help the planet, are tired of their current jobs and want to try something new.   agrivoltaics projects could help reduce that percentage, not necessarily replacing farmland so much as transforming the way it’s used. “ I think we recognize the fact that, as an industry, we have this amazing opportunity to do things a little bit different,” Puckett said. In addition to grazing sheep, several of Enel’s sites will incorporate beekeeping, native plant habitat, and hay production. Across the U.S.,...

 As someone who has changed jobs more times that I like to call attention to in my resume, I have developed adaptations to cope with new job jitters - over the years even learned who to thrive in it. My cousin P asked me a valid question recently - what makes you think that the thing you are going into will be any better or different from what you are leaving? We all know that the interview process (unless you have close personal connections with the hiring manager or people in that organization) is like a courtship - they sell you on the job, the prospects, alignment to your stated goals and so forth.  The interviewee gets a chance to ask questions to assess if they should believe the sales pitch. But the interviewee must also dance around things they want to gloss over and dive into what they feel will show them off in the best light. It's like the first few dates - everyone is on their best behavior, making the best impression they can in hopes of taking things forward - a ...

 It is common to read about how Gen Z cannot afford to buy homes despite rising salaries . Kids right out of college are making more than my generation did ten years into the workforce. While we were able to raise a family on that money and save enough to buy a home, these kids are not able to do so. It was interesting to read about Singapore having 90% homeownership - such a remarkable contrast.  It involves the government play a very active and forceful role in driving that outcome, the kind of thing that would be viewed as unacceptable interference in America. The question is - what is the better outcome for a generation. Should they be free to do as they please with their money (which is not true even in America) or should they be guided by the heavy hand of government to have baseline stability.  Many Singaporeans are able to afford a home, thanks to a mandatory government savings program called the Central Provident Fund. Working residents below the age of 55 are r...

 This visual of how quickly we reach overshoot day each year is very compelling. While we seem to be doing worse overall, there were periods when we improved for a bit before sliding into decline again. I did not even know of such a concept before I stumbled upon this website Earth Overshoot Day is computed by dividing the planet’s biocapacity (the amount of ecological resources Earth is able to generate that year), by humanity’s Ecological Footprint (humanity’s demand for that year), and multiplying by 365, the number of days in a year. For some reason, it made me think of wise words a woman I once knew used to say. In a relationship, in times of stress and anxiety one or both parties may say too much. It was her way of describing that extra jab, dash of  sarcasm, the extra belittling to drive the point home and so on that goes beyond what is justified by the situation no matter how bad. That is saying too much. It was her opinion, once that has happened, it cannot be undone...

 There is a lot of good advice for young people starting out in their career in this post. While most of the ideas are ones I figured out over the years, the last one is something I am still not good at:  When you’re confused or concerned by a manager’s words or actions, ask about it rather than letting it bug you and make you anxious. And don’t try to dance around it; just plunge right in: “I noticed you seemed hesitant when we were talking about X in the staff meeting. Do you want me handling that differently?” Or, “Last week when we talked about X, you said Y. I realized I wasn’t sure what you meant by that.” Or, “I might be misreading this, but do you have any concerns about how I’m handling X?” (The key: You have to say this stuff calmly and with genuine openness and curiosity. Sounding agitated would give it a completely different feel.) I happen to know someone (I will call her C) whose superpower is to being able to exactly as the author suggests. She can ask these qu...

 As someone who was not athletic growing and even mocked for lack of ability in the area, getting into a fitness regimen has been a long, arduous process for me. I've always felt less ready, in worse shape and incapable than others. Finding the right group to exercise with what the first challenge - I did not fare well with a group whose average age was much lower than mine or had a significantly higher fitness level.  That just served to dial up all my anxieties and not deliver any useful outcomes. Once I solved the group problem, things started to work much better. I started to feel middle of the pack with hope of improving with diligent effort. I did not realize that I might have also had the issue of being a non-responder to certain routines and felt frustrated in vain:  Before beginning a new exercise routine, he says, measure your fitness. You can do this by briskly walking up several flights of stairs or quickly stepping onto and off a box three or four times. The...

I love the idea of getting tourists to clean up after themselves and earn rewards along the way . It seems where the conditions are distressed enough the locals need to be incentivized in the same way to do good In return for small environmental actions – like cycling to attractions or fishing litter out of the canals – visitors have been rewarded with small gifts such as free ice-cream and museum tours. First thought that crossed my mind is Kolkata - as far away and different from Copenhagen as any place can be. Maybe because I have seen the squalor and lack of concern for the environment so closely and its my home town - bringing the Copenhagen model seemed so logical. There won't be any ice-creams or museum tours to give away in Kolkata but rewarding civic responsibility is still feasible.  You pull a group together and clean up trash one day, the whole group earns a day off from their place of work and are covered in local television. A high school pulls a volunteer crew of kid...

 A woman I know had a baby couple of months ago and she's allowed to from home until the child is a year old. H is extremely grateful that she has this benefit and she's also confused about how she has no desire to return to her fast track career - is that normal, is that a phase that will phase, what happens if she is different person here on out.  She's made great strides so far and if she gets back soon enough she wouldn't miss a beat - knowing this only makes things more complicated for her.  H asked me recently about what to make of all this and I struggled to give her a sensible answer. I had a very different set of life circumstances in her stage. To me it was clear beyond a shred of doubt what I should do. I never experienced a change of heart or second guessed my decision. I have known of women who start exactly at the same place as me and H but don't feel the same conviction a few months or years down the road. People are different and there is no right or...

  Quaint story about a woman's photograph being used without her consent to make false claims in whisky ads. When traveling anywhere touristy it is common experience to have taken pictures with random people in the frame and equally find oneself in random pictures taken by strangers. It would great if wiping out all those extra people from the image was automated and could happen as the picture was taken.  The technology might not be that far away. When background scrubbing is easily available, it becomes easy to abuse it - to record events as they did not happen for reasons that may not be entirely above-board. It could lead to all manner of unpleasant outcomes - being gaslight about events and being forced to believe and altered reality comes to mind. But random people showing up in our beach pictures could be put out their misery and they'd not show up in pictures they never intended to be part of - they privacy would remain protected. This is not a right that can be easil...

 Lighting a match to burn incense or start the grill feels satisfying. The sound, the smell and the flash of light together take me back to childhood. In a family of may smokers, this is a sound I was very familiar with. The lighting of a cigarette usually coincided with a stress-free time, people visiting, lounging around after a festive meal waiting for chai and snacks to show up from the kitchen where the women were gathered. I can't recall any ads on the matchboxes I was familiar with from back then. The ones I have at home look mundane too. I can see why matchboxes could be a nice collectible .  They are some of the many young people who are embracing phillumeny—the hobby of collecting matchbooks, matchboxes and other match-related items—and displaying their collections at home and online. It’s a resurgence of an interest which harks back to a time when matches were ubiquitous as smoking and advertising tools.  There are matchbook illustrations and prints; matchbooks...

Interesting that a grocery store bill could be a proxy for credit scores . The bill is a reflection of who the person is when no one is looking and probably why such a strong predictor We found that people with more consistent grocery shopping habits are more likely to pay their credit card bills on time. These are people who tend to shop on the same day of the week, spend about the same amount each month, buy similar items across trips and take advantage of deals regularly. We also found that what people buy predicts how they manage their finances. For example, shoppers who frequently purchase cigarettes or energy drinks are more likely to miss credit card payments. Those who often buy fresh milk or salad dressing tend to be more diligent about paying their bills. In general, buying healthier but less convenient food predicted responsible payment behaviors. This was true even when we held consumer characteristics such as income, occupation, credit score and family size constant. Consi...

Stars on 45 came to mind on my way back from the gym. The instructor, L is a good bit older than me and extremely fit. I like his classes because he shows us what is possible with effort and he plays music I know and love. Lot of disco, some Eurythmics, Kraftwerk and the occasional Beatles. Even what I don't recognize is in well within the range of what I enjoy. That afternoon he played something that sounded a lot like Stars on 45 but it wasn't. Listening to that album takes me back instantly to thirteen years old. It was a birthday gift I chose for myself from local cassette shop in town. My parents wanted me to get something I liked from that store and I chose this after some consultation with the owner who was used to helping kids like me find their way around the music they had passing familiarity and were curious about. I knew some Beatles songs but was not able to decide on a specific album.  So this guy wisely pointed me to a medley that he said would help me figure out...

 D is now deceased but a few days ago I remembered the words he said to me that stayed with me for a very long time. We had known each other for a couple of years at the time and one day in all seriousness he told me that I was the kind of woman that no man could possibly live with. That judgement dissected and analyzed for accuracy might have revealed that D was making an impossible claim. Humanity is too vast and diverse for an extreme statement like that. No matter now odd, strange, and weird a person it is very much possible that there are people who can deal with it and even thrive in a relationship with them. I took D's words to heart because it built upon a foundation of self-doubt about my ability to cohabit with just about anyone. I had always struggled with room-mates, was alleged to have impossible standards that no one could live up to and so on.  I presumed D had stumbled upon the hard truth about me and accepted it as such. His statement proved to be incorrect bu...

 I have wild raspberry bushes growing in my yard. When I first spotted them, the plants had started to bloom. Anticipating berries in due season, I started to keep an eye on them and the first berries appeared. They were raw and astringent so time had to pass before they turned edible. My attention turned to other things at home and work and last week when I went back looking for berries there were none left. There were other contenders for them and they had kept their eye on the prize while I got distracted. That is what happened with some wild chantarelle mushrooms I noticed one morning and promised I would get them before lunch - the squirrels had preceded me and there was not much left by afternoon.  There are so many lessons from such missed opportunities in my backyard. I want something in a passive, reactive kind of way, others want it like their life depends on it and they put forth the effort to match. The outcomes are predictable. I may have had the first mover advan...

 This women's room would be worth visiting like a trip to the museum - almost too beautiful to be actually used. The idea of bring art and function together is wonderful and inspiring The artist-designed washrooms epitomize the achievements of Arts/Industry—an ongoing, decades-long collaboration between art and industry conceived by former JMKAC Director Ruth DeYoung Kohler II. Launched in 1974 as a means of supporting artistic exploration, Arts/Industry gives artists from around the world the opportunity to create new bodies of work using the facilities, technologies, and materials of Kohler Co. Made me think about other useful collaborations that could come about between large manufacturers and artists to create things of beauty and utility. A restaurant interior done as a collaboration between a national furniture company and local artists so the end-product showcased the product the company would like to market and sell, but the restauranteur was able to imbue local, bespoke t...

 As a desi woman I can't wait for Harris to make a power statement with the sari as this article suggests: Imagine what else she could bring to her look when the election is behind her. When she stops worrying about winning over voters, she could turn her attention to helping Americans rethink what power looks like. Perhaps she could pay homage to the cultures of her parents. Imagine if Harris showed up one day in a suit made of sari fabric, or a scarf made of Caribbean textiles? This would be more than just a form of self-expression. It would be a testament to America’s boundless opportunity that a child of immigrants could ascend into the highest office of the land. It would make it possible for me and my sisters to show up in the Western world in the colors, fabrics and patterns that we love and identify with. I can spend hours browsing beautiful garments from India - they define perfection to my eyes and I know for a fact that I look my best dressed like an Indian woman. That ...