Vapid Note

 I worked with F for about a year and she was an interesting person. We did not have a lot in common but I liked the she did not hesitate to ask hard questions, challenge what did not make sense or push back on process that did not add value. She had some fans but the consensus opinion was she would not last too long - and she did not. 

Our mutual co-worker and her long-time friend T told me recently that F had unexpectedly become a widow. Her husband had died under tragic circumstances and he was not yet forty. I knew F but wasn't sure if I knew her well enough to send her a note. After some hesitation I checked in with T who assured me that F would be very glad to hear from me. So I summoned up and wrote her what I genuinely felt but there is almost no way to strike the right note under the circumstances. I knew nothing about the deceased or what F's relationship with him had been like. 

I also could not tell how F might be processing her grief and loss as people are different. She had been tied to a small mid-western town because her husband worked for the county and also needed to be close to his ex-wife given shared custody of their children. One way to see this death could be new possibilities for F and her child with him. The world is her oyster - this kid could grow up anywhere in the world now and have the opportunities she could never come by in her town. F can find the job she loves and not stick with the only available options in her town. 

But as acquaintance from work sending a condolence message, these are not the things I can say to her. What if this man was the love of her life and no matter what joys and rewards come her way here on out, no one and nothing can fill that aching void. She could be bereft forever. Maybe the kid will never stop missing her father and not allow any other man to play a paternal role in her life. In those circumstances, any messaging that does not focus on the enormity of loss and solely on the loss will not be well-received. 

I erred on the side of caution and said the banal sounding things people who are relative strangers to the bereaved end up saying at such times for reasons similar to mine. This experience brought to mind a conversation I had with a relative when our cousin passed away. She was young, had been ill for a long time and we all knew that her marriage was source of great stress - which did not help with her lingering illness. So this relative did not hesitate to tell my aunt (her mother) that death has delivered her from both physical illness and mental anguish - that we should just pray for her soul to be at peace, there is nothing to mourn. If anything this was the best thing that could have happened to my long-suffering cousin.

 It was a tough message and for an outsider a very thoughtless one too. But for those who knew both deceased and bereaved, it was the exact right thing to say - and so everyone was better off. My aunt got the jolt she needed to process the tragedy and frame it more realistically. My message to F was possibly the worst of all worlds - it was likely out of place and out of turn, untethered from the realities of her life and her husband's passing. It was just a pointless thing in a time when the person had no capacity for that. 

Taking Off

I am one of those who do not provide any personal details in my OOO message. I am out between these dates and these people will cover for me during that time. I have been receipt of messages ranging from second honeymoon at Tahiti, 15 year old dog's emergency arthritis surgery, vacationing in Mallorca and Ibiza with family and multiple doctors' appointments through the day. 

Not sure any of these message were particularly useful or actionable for me. The last one got me quite concerned because the person sending it was in his early 30s. It it not culturally acceptable to ask if all is well unless they offer to share - which in this instance they did not. Everything appeared normal before and after that day. The person who took off to Tahiti (more power to her and her marriage), was not performing at her job for a long time while managing up and around brilliantly. No one was delighted that now she would be gone for a couple of weeks without any coverage plan.

I am not sure if any of these folks were justifying their time off - those messages are sad to read and I see a fair share of those as well - sick children, sudden disruption of child-care coverage, aging parent taken ill, bereavement and so on. But there are things that people need to do - flooded basement needing immediate attention, power outage from a storm, totaled car and such. These are all valid reasons but the fact the person is detailing it out signals a low-trust environment. A person needs time off to do what they need to do - there is no need to explain oneself. 

“‘on PTO’ conveys ‘I’m fully off work, using a company benefit.’”

“In contrast to terms like ‘sick day’ or ‘on vacation,’ it keeps the reason for the employee’s absence private—recipients don’t get to speculate about how often Jimothy is traveling or whether Pamantha has an unusual number of medical issues,” she said. “Not to mention, at workplaces with pooled time off for both categories, vacation vs. sick leave might not be a meaningful distinction anyway.”

Propeller Assist

Read this article about NaNoWriMo's position on the use of AI by aspiring writers and was quite baffled. I was not able to find the original source where the organization officially put out the statement but many have picked up on it. 

So assuming the attribution of this bizarre line of reasoning by NaNoWriMo is factual, it is not unlike me saying that I may not have the physical talent and ability of an Olympic swimmer but I still put forth some effort and learned to swim pretty late in life. Now, those minor deficiencies should not stand in the way of my dream of finishing ahead of Katie Ladeky. For powers that be, to deny me the right to fulfill my dream is them being classist and ableist. 

Let's say, my position is that notwithstanding the lack of aforementioned natural gifts, if I had been afforded the opportunity to swim and train from an early age, who knows what I might have been. As such, I need to have a chance and its only fair that I be allowed to outfit myself with a few  propeller devices when competing against Ladeky. All bodies are not equal but that should not prevent one such as myself from fulfilling the Olympic dream.

Not all brains have [sic] same abilities and not all writers function at the same level of education or proficiency in the language in which they are writing,” the organizers write in the “Ableism” section. “Some brains and ability levels require outside help or accommodations to achieve certain goals

No one should prevent a wannabe with delusions of grandeur their right to claim a spot next to Doris Lessing. They can use AI as their propeller device and see if that makes up for what is missing in the brains. This is getting to be very strange world that we live in these days.

Trying Out

 Nice way to test-drive a common retirement dream - own and indie bookshop. Is it all that one imagines it would be or is reality too far away from the romance of the idea. Best way to find out is to try it for a few days. I can see this being possible for any kind of dream that a person wants to live once they retire. A good friend of mine spent decades planning her ideal retirement - being a park-ranger at Denali National Park. She ended up being a volunteer for a summer at another national park. It was not quite Denali and she was not a park-ranger. A number of things did not work out quite as planned, so she got to live a distant shadow of her long-cherished dream. And that was not even the worst of it. 

That summer experience as watered-down as it was compared to her aspirations, turned out to be not really what she imagined - she did not see herself doing it for much longer any other place or time. A is now a volunteer helping migrant children who are stuck in never-ending limbo at the US-Mexico border. There was a time when she had strong political opinions on the topic. Now as someone who is seeing reality up close every day, A is surprisingly without any thoughts on what is going on, the rights and wrongs. She focuses solely on helping those children have a better day. It is highly tactical - she collects books, toys and other donations and brings them over to these kids, spends time with them. 

She refuses to think beyond that. By limiting her range of concerns, she had been able to find peace and meaning in what she does, It is not quite the dream of being a park-ranger at Denali but it makes her perfectly happy. It would be great for people to experience the different styles of retirement they could have, see what works best for them. A just lucked into a situation that works well for her even when her dream was never fulfilled. Not everyone is quite as lucky. I for one would love to test-drive my version of being an indie book-shop owner. 

Defining Place

Loved reading this ode to MTR - I have been to the Lalbagh establishment a few times (and that was hardly enough) but not in a very long time. The story took me back in time to when I was there and enjoyed the food and ambience. 

The Maiya siblings have not only managed to expand the family legacy but have also retained a loyal customer base, which won’t allow them to change a thing— from the red chairs to the ceramic plates. In Bengaluru, a city celebrated for its microbreweries, speakeasies, and pubs, MTR reigns supreme. It finds itself on bucket lists, must-eats, and essays on why it’s the hippest restaurant in the city. It’s as much a part of the city as other beloved gems like Koshy’s, established in 1940 in Ashok Nagar; Indian Coffee House, a Church Street fixture since 1958 with its signature chicory-free filter coffee; and the 1980s ice-cream chain Corner House.

“MTR isn’t just a restaurant; it’s history wrapped in a building. From Independence to World War II and the Emergency, it has witnessed it all. Even as Bengaluru has transformed into a high-tech city, MTR remains a portal to the old city,” said historian Rupa Rai.

It is true that I have thought of MTR as the defining thing about Bangalore - from my early childhood, first job out of college, returning there as a single-mother trying to see if the city might accept me and my less than perfect life. In all of those times that I have lived in the city and loved it for reasons that are hard to explain, MTR has been the thing that stood the test of time, the evolving state and stage of my life. The breakfast there was always as I remembered it from the last time - no matter how long ago that last time had been. 

Friendship Ode

Watched Firefly Lane recently and wondered why so many viewers (myself included) enjoyed it. It has many flaws and is ridden with cliche and predictability. These are the kinds of defects that sink a show but somehow this got watched plenty. A no-limits friendship is likely every person's dream though very few find it in their lifetimes. A friendship that begins in childhood and lasts for life is also highly desired but not always possible. These things come to pass for Kate and Tully in the show and the viewers live their own friendship utopia watching them.

In real-life for the average person (like myself), a spouse enters the scene and what used to be a great friendship transforms into a frosty acquaintance at best. They keep you in their thoughts and prayers but are no longer able to be in your life because it disturbs the equilibrium of their marriage. You drift and drift until decades pass since your last conversation. You decide after much hesitation to call this person to see if there are any signs of life left, if that long ago time when this person was your closest friend was only in your imagination of a romanticized past. She sounds just the way she did back in college when you answer the phone. She remembers small details from those years that you have long forgotten. There are old inside jokes you can still laugh about but that is all an inch deep. There is nothing beyond that one hour that compresses the lost decades. 

You know there will be no more than a couple of pleasantries exchanged per year if you are lucky. I can imagine she would love Firefly Lane too - it conjures up a vision of the world that does not exist for her, like it does not exist for me. I am grateful for the friends I do have, specially the couple that go back to childhood. While it is absolutely nothing like the two characters in the show have, it is still remarkable that we have stood the test of time, the many upheavals in our lives and being separated by continents and oceans. They are the people I would never hesitate to contact when I am stressed, sad or upset - they know what it takes to help me restore my balance. They are also the first to know the happy news. No matter what the state of friendships in our own lives, I think we can imagine it extrapolated to Firefly Lane level, adjusted to our realties. That is why the show wins big.

Hastening Demise

 Nice essay on the point of diminishing or even negative return from the use of AI. In the workplace, it maybe to everyone's collective advantage if the use and adoption of AI by employees varies a great deal. We can have some over-rotate and use it for everything - early adopter, paving the way for others. On the far end of the spectrum there needs to a strong set of luddites who refuse to touch it at all. The rest can be skewed to various degrees towards the different ends. Then we might hope for some sort of steady state for the eco-system where AI is used just enough by the population overall. Pushing for 100% adoption might be the beginning of the end and should not be viewed as a goal to aspire for. 

Imagine a medical-advice chatbot that lists fewer diseases that match your symptoms, because it was trained on a narrower spectrum of medical knowledge generated by previous chatbots. Or an A.I. history tutor that ingests A.I.-generated propaganda and can no longer separate fact from fiction.

Just as a copy of a copy can drift away from the original, when generative A.I. is trained on its own content, its output can also drift away from reality, growing further apart from the original data that it was intended to imitate.

In a paper published last month in the journal Nature, a group of researchers in Britain and Canada showed how this process results in a narrower range of A.I. output over time — an early stage of what they called “model collapse.”

In my generation there are any number of people who floated into management, leadership and executive roles without having spent any quality time learning the jobs they now managing, leading and executing by actually doing and failing many times along the way. These folks are fundamentally crippled and can exist in their positions as long as they are propped by the support structure they built to pull them up and keep them there. I have seen heads at all levels roll when a few lynch-pin resources who actually did the work left the organization. The system imploded as if in slow-motion - even to manage up some basic work needs doing. Imagine this process now fast-tracked with help from AI - it will not be a pretty sight to behold.

Not Needed

 As I read this story about health issues caused by bitcoin mines, my thoughts turned to my late grandfather who died in the early 90s. He was a very well-read man with varied interests. It occurred to me that this story would be particularly hard  (if not impossible) for him to follow. The first stumble would come from making sense of bitcoin and everything goes downhill from there

Dr. Bhaloo, the ENT doctor in Granbury, says he’s seen an uptick since the new year in patients whose ailments—including ringing in their ears, vertigo, and headaches—could be related to the mine. “These people here, they’re good country folks, and Bitcoin, to them, is almost a foreign alien thing,” he says. “They don’t understand it. And [the noise] is detrimental to their health and anxiety.” Dr. Stephen Krzeminski, another Granbury ENT, agrees. “Sonic damage is real, there’s no disputing that,” he says. Krzeminski says he believes the mine is causing “mental and physical” health issues. “Imagine if I had vuvuzela in your ear all the time,” he says.

This whole business would be "a foreign alien" thing to my grandfather too. I had to pause and wonder if Michael Pollan's rule about food should not be adapted in someway for technology so we had rules for the road and did not build things that people of above average intelligence from our grandparents' generation would not find useful.  

Swiping Cobwebs

 Read this poem about spider webs and the concept of home the day I was clearing cobwebs that festoon my front door. Earlier while at the gym the same day I was reading Tagore's Glimpses of Bengal where he says this of nature and man:

Where Nature is ever hidden, and cowers under mist and cloud, snow and darkness, there man feels himself master; he regards his desires, his works, as permanent; he wants to perpetuate them, he looks towards posterity, he raises monuments, he writes biographies; he even goes the length of erecting tombstones over the dead. So busy is he that he has not time to consider how many monuments crumble, how often names are forgotten!

A home is not a monument for posterity. It is ephemeral as the spider-web just a little different time-scale. My grand-aunt used to live in a beautiful home as part of a joint family. Her husband and his three brothers had contributed to building it. A widowed sister had arrived at some point and found shelter for herself and her two children. The home overlooked a pond and had plenty of natural light. Everything was clean and polished to a high-gloss - wood, granite, brass and marble. Over the years,  her husband, his brothers, their wives and the widowed sister all died. 

There was a point when my grand-aunt lived their alone - everyone else had either left to other cities and countries or deceased. She was no longer able to upkeep the place even with a lot of help. Her daughter decided this way of life was not viable and took the mother to live with her. My grand-aunt's dying wish was for the house to be taken care of - not abandoned. A few years ago it was demolished to make may for an apartment building. So much like a spider-web I swiped away from my door - like it never existed. It had been a monument in its own way - a testament to the grit of four refugee brothers who did what it took to give their families a decent life, a home to call their own.  But as Tagore says, the fate of monuments is to crumble - and not everyone is kind like the little girl who did not touch the cobweb in her bicycle.

Growing Love

 My gardening skills are very elementary and I lack the patience to improve. That does not prevent me from having aspirations though. I can easily imagine myself harvesting herbs and vegetables - something I have actual experience with. My father cultivated a decent vegetable garden all his life though now he is limited to what he can plant in the balcony of his flat in Kolkata. Through the planting season he would try to enlist my help with preparing the soil, planting seeds, pulling the weeds and watering the plants. I did some of everything but without a great deal of enthusiasm and sought every excuse to avoid the "hard" garden work. But when it came time to harvest the fruit of his labor I could not be more eager to do work. Those habits might have been imprinted in me. While I am very familiar with the steps to getting to the happy harvest stage, in my mind all the steps leading to it have been compressed to a small slice of time. One minute there are seeds an untilled earth and before you know it you are harvesting the bottle gourd. Real life just does not work like that. 

The plant gets over or under watered inevitably. The trellis it's meant to climb is discarded in favor of the neighboring plant which it is supposed to leave alone. Some leaves yellow and die for unknown reasons. The buds come out in large numbers but most do not bloom and you get to measly gourds for you months long effort. You watch them everyday and they don't grow that much but some insects get interested in them anyway so you decide to pull the plug and harvest them before the reach their peak. I shared the picture of my two gourds with my father and he responded very enthusiastically. They tasted quite mundane and were no different from anything I could buy at the grocery store. 

The vegetables from my father's garden tasted wonderful - it made sense that he would toil so hard over them. I still remember the amazing aroma for the specialty green chilies he loved to grow. You added them to boiling hot dal and took it off the flame immediately. It made sense that he tended to those plants for months for this moment to become possible. Such is simply not the case with what I manage to produce. I have to believe love may be the main ingredient in growing a good vegetable garden - I don't have nearly enough of it.

Feeling Perfect

 We have a very beautiful park in my town featuring a couple of lakes, many acres of greenery and some gardens. It is not uncommon to see wedding parties in the summer months take advantage of the location. It is also my favorite place for a picnic - conceptually. The reality of the summer months include bugs of different sorts, flies and mosquitoes. I happen to draw them to myself almost exclusively no matter who else is with me. The only person I know that these creatures favor over me is J. So when she was still home, we talked about picnic in the park in idea terms knowing full well we were unlikely to actually implement it. We hung out a coffee shops and in the museum if we both had something to do but wanted a change of scenery away from home. 

A couple of week ago, I finally realized my idea of having a picnic in the park. Something any number of other people have done innumerable times in their lives. For me it was a novel experience entirely to lay on the grass beneath the shade of a large oak tree and observe my surroundings from there. The flies continued to be a nuisance as long as there was any visible food around but thankfully there were no creatures that bit. My thoughts turned to how it feels to lay on the earth - and how it is an unifying, equalizing experience no matter who you are and what part of the world you are in. It also brought back childhood memories of laying in our sunny verandah on winter weekends. A big tree outside provided some shade but did not take away the warmth of the sun. I had a mat to lay on and a cotton quilt to cover myself up with. Those were some of the best naps of my life - the definition of what it took to make an afternoon perfect. That feeling returned to me ever so fleetingly that afternoon in the park.

Being Different

 Interesting article about differences in attitude towards employment between Gen Z men and women. This may be beyond a generational thing though. I have known men of my generation waiting it out for couple of years for the right job - which means the right combination of prestige and pay. H for example refused to engage in any discussion if the pay was not higher than the job that he was let go from. The fact that he failed to perform at his prior role mattered nothing to him because he refused to recognize that as a concept. 

It had not worked out between him and his managers so he got on a performance plan and got out with some severance. As far as H was concerned they were idiots and he had gamed the system and no one could possibly perform in the conditions he had to. When I heard H describe the situation almost a year into being unemployed, I could not believe the attitude and then it started to make sense. He had to truly, deeply believe every word he said. If that were not the case, he would never be able to land the job he did a year later. 

Maybe that is how men like H (Gen Z and otherwise) cope with the reality of their unemployment. A fresh grad could claim that he needs to wait for the right employer to show up if not that job will be a mistake and slow down their career over time. For an experienced professional like H the answer is that they should not bounce between idiotic employers because it won't work anyway. H ended up making a lot more in the new job that took him two years to find - the title was an improvement too. 

I cannot imagine any of my female acquaintances being able to stand their ground for two years without work. What is more, they would not be able to come to the conclusion H did so effortlessly about why they lost their job in the first place - maybe women care more about such things, maybe they lack chutzpah or whatever it is that the likes of H have that allow them to thrive in adversity. While I learned a lot from observing him, I am all but certain that I would not be able to do what he did.

Doing Dilegence

Recently I referred a friend to a job where I was well-acquainted with the hiring manager. It started strong with good feelings all around.  T reported good interviews - the people he met with are all my former colleagues so I was not surprised they were enthusiastic about him. Then a few weeks into the process, T asked to meet for coffee. 

He had some concerns about the team based on the cues that he had picked up along the way - can he perform, will leadership help with removing roadblocks along the way, were there clear performance metrics for this role. Most importantly, he wanted advice on how best to diligence what he was stepping into. I shared my experience with such things - in the interview stage, he will more likely than not get the answers he wants to hear. In some instances, the hiring manager will say the team is not as well-established as they would like but he is brining in people who can help improve things. Either way you don't have any actionable data or insights to work off of. 

So you go in with eyes open and expect to be surprised in ways that you did not expect - good and bad. Then you make the most of it for as long as you are able. T is a mid-career professional and father of two girls. This job would be one of many he has held so far. J has almost the same questions about how to use the interview process to collect information to aid with informed decision making. Ultimately it comes down to two things - is the person who you are asking the question willing and able to be truthful and have you framed the question in a way that allows them to provide you the data that you need in a way that is comfortable for them. 

You have almost no control over the first thing. The second, you have a more agency but there is no silver bullet that works with everyone in all scenarios. There is a some leap of faith, watching for red-flags asking them to describe their own role, the challenges they hope you will fix and see if there is a path for you to succeed even the the worst case scenario. If the answer trends more yes than no, then it might be the job for you.

Lost Cause

 I am very much not a fan of modern interpretations of traditional dishes. When the victim is an Indian dish I know and love, the disappointment is much deeper. In my last trip to India, I truly struggled to find standard issue idli, vada and sambar at the airports. There was every kind of variant on the theme of this classic breakfast dish but not the basic stuff that I had hoped for as soon as I landed in India. 

Reading about this outrageous dish that bears dosa in its name had me quite horrified. I watched a video that showed how this abomination is made and was at a loss for words. Things like this make me feel like I simply don't get India anymore. How does something like this come to exist and what are the reasons for it to be popular? What was so bad and wrong about the dosa that required such makeover? I will never know ofcourse and have to deal with that feeling of bamboozlement I have come to expect upon arrival in the motherland. 

There used to be a thela-wallah that did the rounds of my childhood neighborhood with his charcoal stove, batter, sambar and chutneys all in the ready. He drew the attention of his customers by banging on the iron skillet with a large spoon. It was usually right between snack and dinner time for the kids. That sound had an absolutely magnetic pull on us. We would work on our mothers to get us dosa for dinner and we all had our occasional success. We circled the thela with our plate savoring the smells as we waited eagerly for our dosas.

Watching him make the dosa was like discovering how a magician pulls a rabbit out of his hat. The skillet would be greased with a the stem of an eggplant dipped in oil - a natural, organic knob spreading it quickly and evenly. He would sprinkle water in a bit to make sure it hissed - that meant the iron was hot enough. Then he would spread the batter and in a few minutes. magically the perfect dosa would appear. It was bigger, thinner, crisper and all the way better than anything our mothers could make at home. He served it on our plate along with little leaf bowls of sambar and chutney. Just like day a mundane evening in our lives would become special. I am grateful to have that memory to hold on to notwithstanding the atrocity I have just seen involving mayo, unknown sauces and cheese in the body of a dosa.

Renting Out

 I learned recently that a former co-worker is now a bee-keeper and does some tech stuff on the side. F was always an interesting woman but this is quite a detour even for her. She must have learnt the bee-keeping trade well-enough in the last few years to make it her primary source of income. I can't imagine that is easy but definitely the kind of challenge F would take on. Reading this sheep-for-solar story brought F to mind. Maybe a career pivot for those who want to help the planet, are tired of their current jobs and want to try something new. 

 agrivoltaics projects could help reduce that percentage, not necessarily replacing farmland so much as transforming the way it’s used.

“I think we recognize the fact that, as an industry, we have this amazing opportunity to do things a little bit different,” Puckett said. In addition to grazing sheep, several of Enel’s sites will incorporate beekeeping, native plant habitat, and hay production. Across the U.S., 500 agrivoltaics projects already cover around 62,000 acres of land.

Reading of all the good that will come of such projects one is tempted to ask "What is the catch?". There has to be something that will go awry with the sheep coming into close contact with solar panels - some unintended consequence no doubt. But until that is discovered, sheep are in business along with bees. 

Life Parallels

 As someone who has changed jobs more times that I like to call attention to in my resume, I have developed adaptations to cope with new job jitters - over the years even learned who to thrive in it. My cousin P asked me a valid question recently - what makes you think that the thing you are going into will be any better or different from what you are leaving? We all know that the interview process (unless you have close personal connections with the hiring manager or people in that organization) is like a courtship - they sell you on the job, the prospects, alignment to your stated goals and so forth. 

The interviewee gets a chance to ask questions to assess if they should believe the sales pitch. But the interviewee must also dance around things they want to gloss over and dive into what they feel will show them off in the best light. It's like the first few dates - everyone is on their best behavior, making the best impression they can in hopes of taking things forward - a committed relationship or a job. I think much is transferrable between lessons a person can learn from a serious of bad relationships and jobs that turn out to be duds for any number of reasons. 

I have found a very strong parallel to exist between by string of ill-advised relationships back in the day and the jobs I was skipping in and out of. There was the same level of disenchantment with both and I was showing the same lack of discernment, unwillingness to probe where I noticed something concerning. If a person is unable or unwilling to expend the energy on diligence and are lazy enough to expect things will magically work out, then only one outcome is likely - in the fullness of time, they will reach peak disappointment and will need to exit the scene. 

Once I got a handle on the relationship area of my life and understood what it took to keep me centered and at peace, I was able to bring some of the wisdom into how I went about looking for the next thing in my career. I told P I felt pretty good and was prepared for surprises good and bad with the confidence that the bad would be containable. 

Free Fall

 It is common to read about how Gen Z cannot afford to buy homes despite rising salaries. Kids right out of college are making more than my generation did ten years into the workforce. While we were able to raise a family on that money and save enough to buy a home, these kids are not able to do so. It was interesting to read about Singapore having 90% homeownership - such a remarkable contrast. 

It involves the government play a very active and forceful role in driving that outcome, the kind of thing that would be viewed as unacceptable interference in America. The question is - what is the better outcome for a generation. Should they be free to do as they please with their money (which is not true even in America) or should they be guided by the heavy hand of government to have baseline stability. 

Many Singaporeans are able to afford a home, thanks to a mandatory government savings program called the Central Provident Fund.

Working residents below the age of 55 are required to put 20 percent of each paycheck into their CPF account. Employers must contribute another 17 percent.

That money is then distributed into three different buckets -- for housing, healthcare, and retirement -- with generous interest rates of up to five percent.

Overshoot Day

 This visual of how quickly we reach overshoot day each year is very compelling. While we seem to be doing worse overall, there were periods when we improved for a bit before sliding into decline again. I did not even know of such a concept before I stumbled upon this website

Earth Overshoot Day is computed by dividing the planet’s biocapacity (the amount of ecological resources Earth is able to generate that year), by humanity’s Ecological Footprint (humanity’s demand for that year), and multiplying by 365, the number of days in a year.

For some reason, it made me think of wise words a woman I once knew used to say. In a relationship, in times of stress and anxiety one or both parties may say too much. It was her way of describing that extra jab, dash of  sarcasm, the extra belittling to drive the point home and so on that goes beyond what is justified by the situation no matter how bad.

That is saying too much. It was her opinion, once that has happened, it cannot be undone. It is as it the relationship has experienced it's overshoot day. From then on the two are on resources borrowed from future goodwill that is yet to exist and may never come to be. Some rebuild their reserves and manage not to overshoot in the future but many continue their permanent downward slide. Her point was - why risk overshoot in a relationship by saying those extra words.

Air Clearing

 There is a lot of good advice for young people starting out in their career in this post. While most of the ideas are ones I figured out over the years, the last one is something I am still not good at: 

When you’re confused or concerned by a manager’s words or actions, ask about it rather than letting it bug you and make you anxious. And don’t try to dance around it; just plunge right in: “I noticed you seemed hesitant when we were talking about X in the staff meeting. Do you want me handling that differently?” Or, “Last week when we talked about X, you said Y. I realized I wasn’t sure what you meant by that.” Or, “I might be misreading this, but do you have any concerns about how I’m handling X?” (The key: You have to say this stuff calmly and with genuine openness and curiosity. Sounding agitated would give it a completely different feel.)

I happen to know someone (I will call her C) whose superpower is to being able to exactly as the author suggests. She can ask these questions calmly without making their manager feel cornered or anxious by her line of questioning. She is genuinely interested in clearing the air and gaining clarity on what is expected from her. If she's not on the right track she is keen to return there. Her demeanor is such that there can be no confusion about her intent even though the situation is objectively tense. She makes it easy for her manager to do what she requires them to do. In all my years I have not seen anyone else with the level of skill C has at making this happen. I am not entirely sure this is teachable but one can observe and emulate to an extent.

Finding Fit

 As someone who was not athletic growing and even mocked for lack of ability in the area, getting into a fitness regimen has been a long, arduous process for me. I've always felt less ready, in worse shape and incapable than others. Finding the right group to exercise with what the first challenge - I did not fare well with a group whose average age was much lower than mine or had a significantly higher fitness level. 

That just served to dial up all my anxieties and not deliver any useful outcomes. Once I solved the group problem, things started to work much better. I started to feel middle of the pack with hope of improving with diligent effort. I did not realize that I might have also had the issue of being a non-responder to certain routines and felt frustrated in vain: 

Before beginning a new exercise routine, he says, measure your fitness. You can do this by briskly walking up several flights of stairs or quickly stepping onto and off a box three or four times. Then check your pulse. This is your baseline number.

Now start working out. Walk. Jog. Attend interval training or spin classes.

After about a month, Dr. Gurd says, repeat the stair or step test. Your pulse rate should be slower now. Your workout sessions should also be feeling easier.

If not, you may be a nonresponder to your current exercise routine.

In that case, switch things up,

Good Deeds

I love the idea of getting tourists to clean up after themselves and earn rewards along the way. It seems where the conditions are distressed enough the locals need to be incentivized in the same way to do good

In return for small environmental actions – like cycling to attractions or fishing litter out of the canals – visitors have been rewarded with small gifts such as free ice-cream and museum tours.

First thought that crossed my mind is Kolkata - as far away and different from Copenhagen as any place can be. Maybe because I have seen the squalor and lack of concern for the environment so closely and its my home town - bringing the Copenhagen model seemed so logical. There won't be any ice-creams or museum tours to give away in Kolkata but rewarding civic responsibility is still feasible. 

You pull a group together and clean up trash one day, the whole group earns a day off from their place of work and are covered in local television. A high school pulls a volunteer crew of kids together to plant trees or dredge a pond, all students get credit for the work in their board exam. If certain number of outcomes are delivered by the group, they get an offset on their college tuition from the government. 

Somehow I know this will not be feasible in Kolkata and for reasons I can no longer fathom given the disconnect from the place over decades. But one can dream for a minute of impossible things coming true; by some miracle Kolkata turning whole again. In the meanwhile there is more sobering reality - my elderly parents joining their neighbors in a protest march over the horrific tragedy that speaks to what Kolkata has now become.

Doing Enough

 A woman I know had a baby couple of months ago and she's allowed to from home until the child is a year old. H is extremely grateful that she has this benefit and she's also confused about how she has no desire to return to her fast track career - is that normal, is that a phase that will phase, what happens if she is different person here on out. 

She's made great strides so far and if she gets back soon enough she wouldn't miss a beat - knowing this only makes things more complicated for her. H asked me recently about what to make of all this and I struggled to give her a sensible answer. I had a very different set of life circumstances in her stage. To me it was clear beyond a shred of doubt what I should do. I never experienced a change of heart or second guessed my decision. I have known of women who start exactly at the same place as me and H but don't feel the same conviction a few months or years down the road. People are different and there is no right or wrong way.

But the question H was asking was more fundamental - she was on a career track and had made excellent progress thus far. Should she jump back in when her heart craved to be with her new baby. This is not one of those things where she can let things play out over time - she needs to decide relatively quickly. I did not have an answer to that conundrum. H mentioned that she has reached out to many mothers new and old about this.

The responses run the gamut but none have proven to be a resolution for her. It would be so wonderful if the act of giving birth were treated as a socially sanctioned professional pause not a full reset. The person could return whenever they chose and be afforded the support they needed to sprint to the point they would have been if not for motherhood. The system would need to treat becoming a mother as something to recognize and celebrate. 

Not actively penalizing women and 18 weeks of maternity leave instead of 12 does not go far enough - certainly not for most mothers. The outcome to strive for should be way more ambitious than achieving the goal of women not leaving the workforce.

Erased Privacy

 Quaint story about a woman's photograph being used without her consent to make false claims in whisky ads. When traveling anywhere touristy it is common experience to have taken pictures with random people in the frame and equally find oneself in random pictures taken by strangers. It would great if wiping out all those extra people from the image was automated and could happen as the picture was taken.

 The technology might not be that far away. When background scrubbing is easily available, it becomes easy to abuse it - to record events as they did not happen for reasons that may not be entirely above-board. It could lead to all manner of unpleasant outcomes - being gaslight about events and being forced to believe and altered reality comes to mind. But random people showing up in our beach pictures could be put out their misery and they'd not show up in pictures they never intended to be part of - they privacy would remain protected. This is not a right that can be easily given even if the privacy was the driving intent

The question of whether anyone has the right to be free from exposure and its many humiliations lingers, intensified but unresolved. The law—that reactive, slow thing—never quite catches up to technology, whether it’s been given one year or 100.

Striking Match

 Lighting a match to burn incense or start the grill feels satisfying. The sound, the smell and the flash of light together take me back to childhood. In a family of may smokers, this is a sound I was very familiar with. The lighting of a cigarette usually coincided with a stress-free time, people visiting, lounging around after a festive meal waiting for chai and snacks to show up from the kitchen where the women were gathered. I can't recall any ads on the matchboxes I was familiar with from back then. The ones I have at home look mundane too. I can see why matchboxes could be a nice collectible. 

They are some of the many young people who are embracing phillumeny—the hobby of collecting matchbooks, matchboxes and other match-related items—and displaying their collections at home and online. It’s a resurgence of an interest which harks back to a time when matches were ubiquitous as smoking and advertising tools. 

There are matchbook illustrations and prints; matchbooks branded “Match My Freak,” after Tinashe’s popular song; and custom matches for homes or events. On Etsy, searches for matchbook or matchbox art are up 92% in the last three months compared with the same time last year, a representative for the company said.

Simpler times when things were tactile and no electronic or mechanical devices were needed to get a job done. Those of us who lived in such times have a reason to feel nostalgic, even those who were born in the trailing end of those times might want to cling to a memory that have only heard about. 

Proxy Score

Interesting that a grocery store bill could be a proxy for credit scores. The bill is a reflection of who the person is when no one is looking and probably why such a strong predictor

We found that people with more consistent grocery shopping habits are more likely to pay their credit card bills on time. These are people who tend to shop on the same day of the week, spend about the same amount each month, buy similar items across trips and take advantage of deals regularly.

We also found that what people buy predicts how they manage their finances. For example, shoppers who frequently purchase cigarettes or energy drinks are more likely to miss credit card payments. Those who often buy fresh milk or salad dressing tend to be more diligent about paying their bills.

In general, buying healthier but less convenient food predicted responsible payment behaviors. This was true even when we held consumer characteristics such as income, occupation, credit score and family size constant.

Consistent grocery store trips are indicative of stability and steady habits - likely supported by consistent income and predictable expenses. Eating healthy is a sign that the person cares about their health and well-being - a bit higher in Maslow's pyramid. 

Starter Taste

Stars on 45 came to mind on my way back from the gym. The instructor, L is a good bit older than me and extremely fit. I like his classes because he shows us what is possible with effort and he plays music I know and love. Lot of disco, some Eurythmics, Kraftwerk and the occasional Beatles. Even what I don't recognize is in well within the range of what I enjoy. That afternoon he played something that sounded a lot like Stars on 45 but it wasn't. Listening to that album takes me back instantly to thirteen years old. It was a birthday gift I chose for myself from local cassette shop in town. My parents wanted me to get something I liked from that store and I chose this after some consultation with the owner who was used to helping kids like me find their way around the music they had passing familiarity and were curious about. I knew some Beatles songs but was not able to decide on a specific album. 

So this guy wisely pointed me to a medley that he said would help me figure out which songs I liked best and maybe next time I could buy the album that had the most of them. To this day, I remember the exact moment one song transitions to the next in Stars on 45 - that is now much I played this tape. I came to have my favorite songs over time and then albums. There was this miraculous feeling of escape into a world far away from mine in every way imaginable. It was not the music my parents had any interest in but they learned to grow familiar with it and even recognized some tunes. 

Many years later when Pandora started the music genome project, I was able to understand how formative that one tape was in my life and how far it shaped my taste in western music. The guy who sold me that tape on my 13th birthday had transformative influence on me. Imagine he started me off on Black Sabbath or Kiss that day, my trajectory could have been quite different. 

Being Told

 D is now deceased but a few days ago I remembered the words he said to me that stayed with me for a very long time. We had known each other for a couple of years at the time and one day in all seriousness he told me that I was the kind of woman that no man could possibly live with. That judgement dissected and analyzed for accuracy might have revealed that D was making an impossible claim. Humanity is too vast and diverse for an extreme statement like that. No matter now odd, strange, and weird a person it is very much possible that there are people who can deal with it and even thrive in a relationship with them. I took D's words to heart because it built upon a foundation of self-doubt about my ability to cohabit with just about anyone. I had always struggled with room-mates, was alleged to have impossible standards that no one could live up to and so on. 

I presumed D had stumbled upon the hard truth about me and accepted it as such. His statement proved to be incorrect but that did not prevent me me from having many spikes of angst about failing when placed in a new situation or context. I have to do this new thing now involving a person I am unfamiliar with and therefore I am more likely than not to fail. Having presumed failure even before it happened, I set in motion events that caused me and those around me a lot of undue pain. Each time, I proved to myself that I can actually operate in a "normal" manner and nothing is terminally broken about me, the inevitability of D's pronouncement fades a bit more. It has not lost its sting entirely, but it definitely hurts less. The people you trust as friends and mentors can do the worst damage to your psyche because you present to them your most vulnerable and receptive self.

Teachable Moments

 I have wild raspberry bushes growing in my yard. When I first spotted them, the plants had started to bloom. Anticipating berries in due season, I started to keep an eye on them and the first berries appeared. They were raw and astringent so time had to pass before they turned edible. My attention turned to other things at home and work and last week when I went back looking for berries there were none left. There were other contenders for them and they had kept their eye on the prize while I got distracted. That is what happened with some wild chantarelle mushrooms I noticed one morning and promised I would get them before lunch - the squirrels had preceded me and there was not much left by afternoon. 

There are so many lessons from such missed opportunities in my backyard. I want something in a passive, reactive kind of way, others want it like their life depends on it and they put forth the effort to match. The outcomes are predictable. I may have had the first mover advantage, seen the opportunity first but got distracted by other things in my field of vision. Others came in second or later but they chose to hone in on what was in front of them to the exclusion of everything else. So being late did not hurt them in the end but being first did not give me any advantage. A woman I meet sometimes during my walks by the lake close to the house told me how she had seen a bald eagle swoop down on an egret and snatch a fish out of its mouth and fly away. 

That too is a lesson learned about giving up advantage due to lack of situational awareness. A competitor wins the deal when you were that close to signing the contract because you did not notice signs of their presence. 

Artsy Washroom

 This women's room would be worth visiting like a trip to the museum - almost too beautiful to be actually used. The idea of bring art and function together is wonderful and inspiring

The artist-designed washrooms epitomize the achievements of Arts/Industry—an ongoing, decades-long collaboration between art and industry conceived by former JMKAC Director Ruth DeYoung Kohler II. Launched in 1974 as a means of supporting artistic exploration, Arts/Industry gives artists from around the world the opportunity to create new bodies of work using the facilities, technologies, and materials of Kohler Co.

Made me think about other useful collaborations that could come about between large manufacturers and artists to create things of beauty and utility. A restaurant interior done as a collaboration between a national furniture company and local artists so the end-product showcased the product the company would like to market and sell, but the restauranteur was able to imbue local, bespoke touches to the interior that spoke to their identify and attracted clientele. 

Setting Free

 As a desi woman I can't wait for Harris to make a power statement with the sari as this article suggests:

Imagine what else she could bring to her look when the election is behind her. When she stops worrying about winning over voters, she could turn her attention to helping Americans rethink what power looks like. Perhaps she could pay homage to the cultures of her parents. Imagine if Harris showed up one day in a suit made of sari fabric, or a scarf made of Caribbean textiles? This would be more than just a form of self-expression. It would be a testament to America’s boundless opportunity that a child of immigrants could ascend into the highest office of the land.

It would make it possible for me and my sisters to show up in the Western world in the colors, fabrics and patterns that we love and identify with. I can spend hours browsing beautiful garments from India - they define perfection to my eyes and I know for a fact that I look my best dressed like an Indian woman. That is me being in my own skin, fitting into what was made and designed for me. I have never had the chance to present myself in the way that I feel the best about in America. In western attire something always feels a bit off.

Lately I see younger desi women in my workplace try to be bold with an embroidered phulkari kurti or a Fabindia dress from time to time. I am very proud of them for trying and root for them to go even further - wear a sari to work that was hand-woven by artisans from their home state in India. I wish I had the courage to wear a tant sari to work on a summer day - be myself.